When I first starting doing martial arts, I struggled with insecurity next to more experienced belts. I felt like,  no matter how hard I worked at it, I’d never be that good. Everyone else seemed to pick up on things sooner and their techniques were so much more graceful than mine. A black belt gave me some great advice. She said that whenever I was tempted to compare myself to someone else, I should tell myself “I’m a white belt; I don’t need to know that yet.”

It was great advice because it *allowed* me to suck. My only job was to keep showing up and keep practicing the skills I’d be tested on next. Sure, I could aspire to be as confident and effective as those black belts I saw. But it was going to take time. And lots of bruises, tears and sweat. In the mean time, the joy was in the process and in the leap of trying something new.

I need to take this advice to heart these days. My work-in-progress is stalling out (curses, you monstrous middles!) and I find myself wondering if I’ll ever be good enough to pull it off. I look around and see so many others finishing their drafts, landing agents or publishing books. And here I sit – unable to get through my lousy rough draft.

But, hey, my job right now is to just keep showing up. Every day. Ready to fight with all my heart and to the best of ability.

I may not be new to writing, but I *am* new to writing fiction. So say it with me, “I’m a white belt; I don’t need to be brilliant yet!”

My 13-year-old is applying for a special art program at her school for next year. As part of her application, she has to draw a portrait. She’s been working hard every night, trying out different ideas and different materials. After she’s done with each one, she comes to find me and ask for my opinion.**And then she promptly gets mad when I don’t agree with her about which one is the best or if I make suggestions.

It’s not her fault. She’s young and hasn’t quite figured out a universal truth: Asking for Mom’s opinion isn’t a good idea for some of us. Shoot, I’m forty-something, have been a professional writer for twelve years, have nine published books and another coming out next year and I STILL can’t ask my mother for her opinion about anything I’ve written. I’m just too sensitive to any criticism or lack of enthusiasm she may have. In all fairness, my mom is not super critical or anything. I think it’s just a mom-daughter kind of thing. Or maybe simply a mother-child thing. My mother is also a professional artist so that might have something to do with it, too. (We creative folks have such sensitive egos!) I used to think it had to do with how much I value her opinion, but what’s weird is that I don’t have the same problem with my dad. I value his opinion just as much as my mother’s, but somehow, his critiques -which are frequently harsher – are easier to handle.

How about you? Are there any people in your life who you just can’t share your work with? If so, what is it about your relationship with them that keeps you from handling their feedback with a grain of salt?

**By the way, in case you haven’t guessed, my favorite picture is the one I’ve included here. My daughter wishes she could pull off a realistic portrait, but honestly, I just love her touch-of-Anima style!

I’m horrible at coming up with titles. I usually leave this until after I’ve finished writing my book and then agonize over what would make a good book title. What about the rest of you?

For Christmas, the women in my workout class put together a CD for our instructor. (Between you and me, we were a little tired of his music.) Everyone got to put a song on the list. Since I was in charge of burning the CD, I put my foot down on a Jonas Brothers song (for which the instructor thanked me) but I also took a small, creative liberty by adding the Glee cast version of “Rehab.” [Listen to it here: watch?v=vjX7mYTdpEA]

I love the song. Yes, it’s cheesy. But it’s also fun and bouncy. It brightens my mood when I hear it and, let’s be honest, whose mood couldn’t stand some brightening in the middle of a hundred crunches?

Unfortunately, not everyone in my class agrees. Okay. Okay. I admit it. NO ONE else in class likes it. When it comes on, they openly mock me despite the fact I’m the reigning queen of workout class tug-a-war.

But guess what. This doesn’t bother me. I know what I like and cheesy or not, I like the show Glee and have about a dozen of the show’s cover songs on my iPod. When I’m in the car, I blast them and sing along frequently. (Which, of course, embarrasses the heck out of my teenagers. It’s a win-win! But I digress.)

Books are like this, too. Some of the best selling children’s lit out there or the best reviewed books are ones I just don’t like. Some of the book aren’t my taste. Or genre. Or I find that the writing, in my opinion, is lacking sparkle or proper editing.

I can’t be the only one out there, right? So let’s play a game. Are they any books that are supposedly terrific that you just don’t like?

I’ll go first. I’m not a fan of “Twilight.” There. I said it. I read the first book and liked the fast pace and unusual subject matter (at least it was unusual at the time) but, frankly, I wanted to smack Bella by the end of the book. I found her to be a pretty shallow and weak heroine. Not only does she spend a crazy amount of time fawning over how beautiful Edward is but she knowingly walks into a trap at the end. She wasn’t a girl I related to.

How about you? What’s your “I can’t believe everyone else thinks this book rocks” pick?  (Come on. Be brave!)

So I’m busy working on the perfect plot with star worthy characters and a stunning setting. It’s all there. Laid out with precise outlining. So why can’t I write!!!!?????!!!!

Please tell me you’re nodding your head saying, “Yes, this happens to me, too.” I sure hope so because it just happened to me. I’ll tell you why. It’s because my muse went off on vacation right when I’m smack in the middle of my first draft of my novel. (I know, the nerve).

In fact, my muse was gone so long that it took my over a month to write 5,000 words. Not those flying-fingers-across-the-keyboard words. These were the painfully-slow-I’m-never-going-to-finish-this-sentence words.

But I’m here to tell you I’ve survived! (Imagine a room full of cheers and clapping) My muse is back and my story is rocking once again. (more clapping) So how did I manage while she was gone?

Here are some helpful tips:
1. Daydream
2. Go for a long run (or walk if you don’t like to run)
3. Read
4. Chat with a friend to brainstorm ideas
5. Eat lots of chocolate.
6. Be silly

Silly? Yep. I went to some plot generators and found some crazy story ideas. Then I let my imagination go WILD. It’s actually kind of fun and a seemingly waste of time. But what do you know? My muse hurried on back, tan and smiling.

Check out these sites to get your muse running on back to that perfect story of yours:
1. Plot Scenario Generator
I got things like this: “The story starts when your protagonist hides in a closet. Another character is a foreign diplomat who is the most attractive person your protagonist has ever met.” Wow. Now that sounds like fun!
2. Random Plot Generator
3. Seventh Sanctum 

Oh and according to my four-year old, my muse went to Bora Bora. In case you were wondering.

With Valentine’s Day coming up in next week…

A couple of years ago, my husband and I took a trip to the elephant park in Koh Samui, Thailand. When our tour guide showed up, she exclaimed, “Oh! You a movie star!”

I’m not sure who she mistook me for, but she was determined I was some famous celebrity. Hardly! I tried to explain to her that she was mistaken, but my husband wasn’t helping AT ALL. He only nodded to the lady, saying, “Yes, but don’t tell anyone.”

Oh the stinker!

No matter what I said, my tour guide would just winked and give me her ‘it’s our little secret’ smile. She spread the news to the rest of the staff there. I was succumbed to numerous pictures and stares. A guy even took my picture from a bush! Embarrassing! My husband had a good laugh, but I’m afraid all that guy got was a frowning picture.

This story makes me think of myself as a writer. Am I a movie star in my writing? Are my manuscripts sparkling with stardom?

The thing is, to be a movie star, you need confidence. And confidence in who I am as a writer has a big part in creating my Voice and Tone in my stories. So how can I become a Movie Star in my writing?

Here’s a list I came up with:
1. Put my characters on the stage and get them acting. (Show, don’t tell.)
2. Make those characters lines shine. (Every character’s speech should be distinctive)
3. Play up my character’s mannerisms. (What actions, sayings or details make my character special?)
4. Stage make-up (Pay attention to grammar and format)
5. Stage props (Set the tone by my setting)
6. Spotlight (Focus my chapters so they move the plot forward)
7. Get over stage fright (Be myself as I write. Don’t think about anything other than my characters and my story)

So maybe we’re not Hollywood celebrities. But by using these tips, I know we can make our manuscripts into MOVIE STAR! material.